My church is preparing for our 2nd annual women’s conference / retreat and the theme is rest.
I’ve known for about a month that I would absolutely not be able to go because it’s about 48 hours after I get home from my next knee surgery. I’ve suspected I’d miss it since last May when I learned that I needed new knees.
I’ve tried to figure out if I could push surgery out and squeeze the women’s conference in… giving me 3 short weeks until thanksgiving. I even contemplated if I could squeeze in making the thanksgiving food in advance. While I was at it, I could prep for Christmas too.
My “get the house ready for post op recovery” checklist is 3 pages long already. Typed. Single spaced.
The theme is rest.
Yesterday, my brain went there.
Huh. I really wish I could be there. I could tell them a thing or two about rest. I could even be a keynote speaker on the subject!
I was sitting in church at the time, but even that didn’t stop me from grabbing my notepad and pen.
Oooh… I’ve been wondering what to write about. I can’t be a speaker this year but I can still show them what they’re missing out on.
(Side note to my RLM friends – I’m not even remotely serious about the speaking thing. I’m not dropping hints and I promise I’ll communicate directly if I change my mind. Honest.)
I proceeded to write down a list of the major “rest lessons” in my life. Because that’s what sermon time is for, right? (No susan, it’s not.)
There’s scripture about rest.
Being the experienced blogger and social media junkie that I am, I decided to look a few of them up and get a head start on my “amazing upcoming masterpiece” that had somehow spun out of control in my head… and was now morphed into an international best seller with lecture tour.
(It’s ok to roll your eyes and think “oh honey, no…” at this point. I certainly am.)
And, because I was feeling so super spiritual thinking about the life changing lessons about rest I was going to share, I wanted to find some obscure scripture references instead of the common ones.
I got put in my place.
Yet they would not hear.
Right there on the back pew, God put me in my place. My grand dreams went poof and I was left to face the truth.
I stink at rest.
I can tell you a LOT about not resting.
I’m an expert on avoiding rest, on pushing myself beyond my own limits, and on being super busy preparing to rest.
I’m the adult equivalent of a toddler who refuses to nap and then has an epic meltdown by 3pm.
I’ve repeatedly pulled the spiritual equivalent of running around like a toddler yelling “I’m not tired” right up to the point I fall face first onto the floor.
I can tell you just one thing about rest.
Don’t fight it.